i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
