Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
