I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
