just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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