I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
