I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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