is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
