things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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