I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
