Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
