So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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