I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
