She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
