The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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