Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
