"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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