You work out of a Hotel?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
