just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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