Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
