We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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