so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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