so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize