you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I understand Curling. That high.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
