absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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