I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
