Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
