btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
