I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you made out with another girl for some wings
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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