I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
