ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize