bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
