well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
