Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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