I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
