I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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