I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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