I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
