He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
