Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
