They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sorry about my life...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
