I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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