I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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