I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize