your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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