Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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