Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Panties = found
Randomize
