Buhtt sex?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
