She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
