If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
