my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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