it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
