he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need to align my fucking chakras
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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