Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
