Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
