hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
