I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize