So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
