We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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