Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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