i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
