i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
