Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
